Behind Every Incident is a Person Asking for Help: Be Patient and Kind

The year was 2014 and I was just cutting my teeth in the IT world.

I had made a career and industry change and was working as a 30-year-old intern on a service desk at a large oil and gas company.

I had a lot to learn, and at times it felt like I was in over my head. But I was thankful I had landed at a company that believed in developing their people and had managers with what I would call a “teacher's heart."

One day I got a great reminder from a fellow co-worker, soon turned friend, who had started on the same service desk but had moved onto another team within the company.

We actually knew each other a little bit. We were from the same hometown, and I had played high school football with his nephew. So after catching up a bit, he asked me how the job was going. 

I confided that there was definitely a big learning curve and at times I felt a bit overwhelmed. I confessed that there just seemed like so much I didn't know and still needed to learn.

That's when he smiled and offered this great reminder. He told me there were always going to be things to learn and with a laugh, assured me I would never know everything. Something I probably knew intuitively, but something we should all probably keep in mind for some healthy humility.

But he said while you can't know everything, the one thing you can do, is you can choose to “Be patient and kind.” He said that is the greatest skill you can bring to this position. You can learn how to troubleshoot. You can learn the different software and programs. But you have to commit daily to being patient and kind to everybody you serve.

This was especially important on a service desk because unfortunately you rarely get to speak to people at their best. We were often there to help them solve a problem. And while you may not be able to solve their problem right away, you can choose to be patient and kind in your interaction with them and that can go a long way.

I found that choosing this attitude of patience and kindness in my work built trust and relationships with people across the organization. Not that that should be a big surprise!

That advice stuck with me. So much so, that I wrote it down on a sticky note—“Be patient and kind”—and stuck it to the bottom of my monitor. It’s been there ever since.

Years later, I still think about that moment. Especially now, working in the world of ServiceNow, where we build systems that help people solve problems faster, more efficiently, and with less friction. But even the best workflows and automation can't replace the human touch. And shouldn't. The reminder on my monitor isn’t just for me—it’s for every interaction I have, whether it’s with a client, a teammate, or someone just needing to talk.

In this fast paced, high-tech world, and especially in ITSM platforms like ServiceNow, we often talk about SLAs, MTTR, and automation. But the real magic happens when we combine those metrics with empathy. When we design workflows that not only resolve incidents but also respect the person behind the ticket. When we build knowledge bases that empower users, not just deflect calls. When we remember that every “issue” is really a person asking for help.

That sticky note is my daily nudge to bring humanity into technology. It reminds me that while I may never know everything, I can always choose to show up with patience and kindness. And that, more than any certification or technical skill, is what makes a great consultant.

So here’s my challenge to you—whether you're just starting out or you're deep into your IT career: write it down. Grab a sticky note, scribble “Be patient and kind”, and stick it to your monitor. Let it be your daily reminder that while technology evolves and tools like ServiceNow streamline our workflows, the heart of service remains the same. It's not just about solving problems—it's about how we show up for people while we do it.

Let’s build systems that work, and relationships that last.